Something to Celebrate
by Joycelyn Solo
Summary: Carby: A slightly alternative universe of ER: John and Abby Carter have a surprise in store.
1. Chapter One

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter One**

"Maybe if we ignore it, they'll go away."

John Carter sighed and regarded his wife, who's face lay mere inches from his on the pillow. "I doubt that, they sound pretty insistent."

"Then you answer it." Abby grumbled, rolling away from him and taking the bed covers with her.

He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, reaching for his pajama bottoms. "I'll answer it," he smirked, "only because I know you need your beauty sleep."

He ducked just in time to for his pillow to be used against him and sail past his head.

The knocking started again with a fresh round of enthusiasm as he entered the living room. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered, scratching his head in mid-stretch and making the tangle of waves even more unruly.

He looked through the peephole and was surprised to see the bubbled-visage of Benjamin Pratt, an ER resident from County General hospital, where John happened to be chief resident.

His rude-awakening-annoyance was replaced by a stronger feeling of rude-awakening-by-one-of-his-least-favorite-people-annoyance. He unlocked the door and jerked it open, a harsh greeting on the tip of his tongue ­

­ but he stopped short when he saw who else was with Pratt. Standing well out of view of the peephole, Susan Lewis and Jerry Markiewicz flanked the resident.

"Morning, Carter." greeted Pratt.

"Nice jammies." Susan added.

"Where's the missus?" Jerry asked.

Not quite sure what to make of the ensemble, John took a step back and closed the door.

"John?" Abby called, coming out of the bedroom wearing the other half of his pajamas. "Who is it?"

"I'm not sure."

Abby raised an eyebrow at his lack of answer and opened the door for herself.

"Morning, Abby." Pratt repeated.

"Nice jammies." Susan commented, noticing the resemblance of Abby's top to John's bottoms.

"What'd ya do with your husband?" Jerry asked, anxious to get the show on the road.

John appeared in the doorway again, a hand automatically resting against Abby's waist. He looked down at his wife and whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear, "I told you I didn't know who it was."

"Funny, John." Susan said, frowning. "We put the effort into coming here to do something nice ­ even dragging one of your residents along kicking and screaming ­ and this is the greeting we get?" To her companions, she said, "Alright, let's do what we came to do."

Her companions nodded and each pulled a party hat from behind their backs and placed them on their heads.

"Ready?" Susan asked. "Go."

Each took a deep breath and began singing...

"Ohhh  
Hap-py hap-py hap-py hap-py hap-py happy anni-vers-ary.  
Hap-py hap-py hap-py hap-py hap-py happy anni-vers-ary.  
Hap-py anni-ver-sar-eeee to you"

Noticing that a few more doors had opened along the hallway, Abby looked cautiously at her husband. "John, make them stop or we'll get evicted."

Jerry grunted. "We know Carter's family owns the building. They can't evict him."

"You're still going to cause a riot." John admonished. "What are you guys doing, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Pratt asked. Initially irritated that Dr. Lewis had used blackmail to get him here, he was actually enjoying the adventure. When else would he get away with rousing his boss out of bed on a weekend?

Abby's brow furrowed. "Our anniversary was two months ago."

"Or you're ten months early for our next anniversary." John added.

Susan shook her head at them. "No. It's two years today that you two stopped beating around the bush and finally decided you couldn't live without each other."

"Uh-huh." said Abby.

"Right." said John. "Well, we appreciate the gesture, but we've got big plans for our anniversary that we'd like to get to."

Pratt, in the process of removing his party hat, pointed it at John. "But you didn't even know there was an anniversary to celebrate."

"Yes, but now that we know, we're going to go celebrate." Abby said.

"Privately." John stressed.

The three interlopers nodded their heads in understanding and turned to leave.

"Wait a minute," John called after them. "Let us have your hats. It'll help with the celebratory mood."

Handing over their hats, Jerry muttered, "That's so much more than I ever wanted to know." 


	2. Chapter Two

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter Two**

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" John asked, noting how pale his wife still looked. She'd spent most of the morning making sacrifices to the porcelain god and as such there were dark circles beneath her normally bright eyes. 

"I'm fine. Must have been something I ate." She tried to grin mischievously. "Remind me not to let you cook for a while."

John smiled. A return of sense of humor meant she must be better. "I don't think it helped that you preceded the meal with a double tall mocha whatever. Caffeine or no, those things are dangerous."

"You should know by now it's not the caffeine I crave. It's the extra lethal doses of sugar they pump into it." 

"I could think of better uses for the extra whipped cream you pile on top of it." John said, waggling his eyebrows at her.

But his brow quickly furrowed as her face turned green and she ran once more for the bathroom. To himself he muttered, "I hope it was the food reference." 

Standing outside the bathroom door he winced each time he heard the ragged sound of dry heaving. She'd pretty well emptied dinner and breakfast earlier - there wasn't anything left for this bout.

When he heard the water running in the sink he opened the door slowly and watched as she rinsed her mouth out. "I hate to leave you like this. Maybe if I tell Kerrie you're sick she'll make Deb go instead."

"As much as I would love to keep you here, I'm sure I'm fine." She took a deep breath and gave him a wan smile. "Besides, you wanted to be Chief Resident and this is your punishment."

He frowned, not for the first time since Kerrie had informed him of the pending conference. "Who really needs an entire week to learn how to make schedules and keep residents in line?" 

"No one needs that long. But I'm sure it's no coincidence that your conference is being held on a championship golf course."

"You're sure I can't use you as an excuse to get out of this?" he asked, concern evident above the joke.

"I'm sure. I feel better already." Abby smiled bravely for him, after taking another steadying breath. "Besides, when you get back you can feel free to use me all you want."

"Is that a promise?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her.

She placed a hand on his chest, holding him away. "John, I've been throwing up all morning. I don't think you want to kiss me."

He hung his head in defeat. "You're probably right." 

She removed her hand at his agreement.

"But I'll regret it later." he said, pressing his lips to hers.

Despite being self-conscious of her not-so-fresh breath, Abby responded to the kiss and was grateful that her stomach didn't protest as John wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. 

Reluctantly pulling apart, John looked at his watch. "I'd probably better be going. If you're not feeling better later be sure to get checked..."

"John, I'm surrounded by doctors. I'm sure I'll be fine." She pulled his wrist toward her so she could check his watch. "And you've got a plane to catch."  



	3. Chapter Three

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter Three**

"Good morning, Abby." Lydia greeted, a mug of hot coffee steaming in her hands as she sat at the lounge table with Haleh, Chuny, and Hoshi.

Carefully placing one foot in front of the other and concentrating on getting to her locker, Abby didn't return her fellow nurse's greeting.

"Hey Abby, you feeling alright?" Chuny asked, noticing how haggard Abby looked.

Reaching her locker, Abby leaned against it and answered meekly, "Not really, but it'll go away. I've been fighting some stomach bug all week."

"You sure that's all it is?" Lydia asked, raising her eyebrows. "You _are_ newly married."

Hoshi smiled widely. "You sure there's not a little Carter in the oven?"

"That's all we need." Haleh added to the joke, but turned serious when she saw the look on Abby's face. "What's wrong, Abby?"

"I'm sure it's not that." Having known and accepted the fact for years, Abby was surprised when tears threatened. She hadn't even cried when she and John had discussed it. "I can't have kids."

As soon as she said it she immediately started sobbing - something she never let other people see. _What is wrong with me?_ she asked herself as Haleh and Lydia both enveloped her in motherly hugs and guided her to a chair.

"Oh, honey," Haleh said, studying her face. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Abby nodded, wiping tears away with the back of her hand.

"I don't know, Abby." Lydia said, looking at the other nurses for confirmation. "You have been kind of emotional the last couple days and usually you're like a rock."

"You did cry after cleaning Mr. Henderson's boil." Hoshi interjected.

"And stomach flu doesn't pick certain times of the day to strike." Lydia reminded. "Maybe you should take a PT just to be sure."

Haleh rubbed Abby's shoulder while she sniffled back more tears. "Or at least see Dr. Lewis or Dr. Chen. The nausea could be a sign of something else."

Chuny handed her a tissue, which she accepted and used with enthusiasm. "Want me to grab a test for you?" she offered. She nodded and Chuny left the lounge.

Even knowing that it couldn't be true, Abby wondered at the anxious feeling that fluttered within her. What if it was true? _Could_ it be possible?

Chuny returned with a PT kit.

"Do you want us to wait with you?" Lydia asked, and again all Abby could do was nod. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter Four**

_I can't believe it_. Even seated in an exam chair, her legs propped in stirrups as she waited for Susan to return, Abby had a hard time believing it was true. Not only was she pregnant - she was almost three months pregnant.

How could she have not known? She knew Susan was thinking the same thing as she asked Abby all the obvious questions she should have asked herself. She used to be an OB nurse, for crying out loud. She should have known the signs.

Of course, she'd also been told by several doctors that she wouldn't be able to have children. Not after ­

She wouldn't think about that. She wouldn't mar the gift she and John had been given by thinking of that dark period of her life that eventually lead to her divorce from Richard.

"Everything looks good." Susan announced, coming back to the exam room. "I've scheduled an appointment upstairs for a more thorough exam."

"And I was just starting to get comfortable in here." Abby joked, unable to keep the wide grin off her face.

Susan shared the smile. "When does John get back?"

"Tomorrow night." She stopped short as she thought about it. "How is he going to react?"

"He'll probably freak out and run screaming from the room." Susan laughed, then saw that Abby wasn't amused. "I'm sure he'll be happy and run to the nearest toy story and start stocking up."

Abby looked dubious. They'd only been married a year and a half. This wasn't something they'd really expected so soon. Actually, they hadn't expected it at all. They'd talked about alternatives like adoption, but with no immediate plans.

"I think you were right the first time. He's going to freak out." Abby said finally. "We really didn't see this coming."

Susan didn't press for details - the most prominent being how could a nurse and a doctor not know she was pregnant - and tucked Abby's chart under her arm. "They're expecting you upstairs any time."

* * *

  
_I can't believe it_. Even seated in the crowded auditorium, John still couldn't fathom how it could take an entire week to cover so little - and so basic - material. Not for the first time he entertained the idea of leaving early.

He would calmly stand and walk toward the exit, acting like he was just going to the restroom. Then, as soon as the auditorium doors were closed he'd run through the lobby like hell's hounds were on his heels, hail a cab, catch the next plane to Chicago, and, once safely in the bosom of his fair frozen city, he'd call the hotel to check out and have them ship his luggage to him.

The idea had appeal. And it occupied his mind for a few minutes while another speaker droned on and on about "improving the quality of service in your resident hospital."

Granted, he only had one more day, but that was one more day in his young life he didn't really want to waste. He'd already lost five days to this conference - days he would never see again.

Plus, he missed Abby.

When he wasn't plotting an escape scenario (of which he'd conjured eight with varying themes), his thoughts were of his beautiful wife.

His beautiful and recurring nauseous wife.

If she'd been a patient with the same symptoms, the first thing he'd do would be a pregnancy test. But they both knew, though neither said it, that wasn't possible.

While married to Richard, Abby had become pregnant. Never telling Richard ­ who didn't want children at the time, anyway, and fearing that any child she had would suffer the same bipolar disorder as Maggie ­ Abby had an abortion.

Following the procedure, there had been complications. The doctor, and many after, all informed her of the same fate.

She would not be able to have children.

John had never really given a lot of thought to children. Based on his own childhood experience, he didn't know if he would have made a good father. However, faced with the reality of it, he knew that he and Abby, together, would make wonderful parents. That was why they had been discussing adoption. Possibly in a few more years. They knew, working for a county hospital, just how many children there were in need of good homes.

He broke out of his reverie to join in the polite applause as the speaker left the podium. John knew everyone was probably clapping because there was only one more speaker to go and they would be done for the day ­ with two more speakers first thing the next morning, a farewell lunch, and a mad-dash for the airport.

He couldn't wait to see Abby tomorrow night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want you all to know how lucky you are. Originally I was only going to post the Abby-centered portion, but then I remembered how wonderful you all are and decided to let you have twice the post for the price of one.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank Em (author of "The Dress" and "If Tomorrow Ever Comes") for all her encouragement. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter Five**

"Dr. John Carter, room 342, please." Abby cradled the phone against her ear as she flipped through a parenting magazine she'd impulsively picked up at the grocery store. 

After several rings, the hotel clerk returned to the line. "I'm sorry, Dr. Carter isn't answering. Would you like to leave a voice mail?"

"Yes, thank you." Abby said, thinking quickly of what exactly she should say. She hadn't even decided if she would have told John had he been in, but she knew she didn't want to leave her news on a voice mail.

At the beep, Abby smiled into the phone. "Hey, Handsome.I know you're probably busy breaking lots of lady doctor hearts, but I'd hoped you'd have time to talk to your wife stuck here in Chicago. I found out some pretty exciting news today and I can't wait to tell you tomorrow when I see you. Have a great flight. I love you. Bye."

_Pretty exciting_, she thought as she hung up the phone. What an understatement. This was one of the most amazing things she could think of happening. 

Giddy with her excitement, Abby smiled widely at nothing in particular and cradled her arms around her middle. "Just wait until your daddy finds out about you." She leaned against the couch cushions and sighed with content. 

Of course, she mused, this will mean big changes for her and John. They had already discussed the possibly of starting a family, but neither thought it would be this soon -- and of course neither thought it would be like this. Abby had accepted long ago that her only chance for a family would be through adoption.   
  
She allowed a frown to briefly mar her happiness. She was amazed at how differently she felt about this pregnancy compared to her last. When she found out she was pregnant before, her primary emotion had been fear; fear for how Richard would react and fear of the baby having the same bipolar disorder that had already wreaked havoc on her life. Through all that, she never once thought about the baby being _their_ child -- hers and Richard's. 

She didn't know if it was her certainty that Richard didn't want children, the chance that any child of hers could be bipolar, or the fact that she herself wasn't ready to have children -- but she hadn't felt a connection to the baby before. 

This time, however, it just felt _right_.

Of the things she and John had decided, they would both switch from emergency medicine to a private, nine-to-five practice. Based on his own childhood, John didn't want his children to feel a burden in those rare moments spent with their parents. 

Abby agreed that she didn't want to be a stranger to her own children. 

She giggled with glee, excitement bubbling within her as she imagined their future. She loved her current work, but the thought of working a small practice with her husband while they raised a family had certain appeal. 

Setting the parenting magazine aside, she reached for their wedding portrait that sat on the end table. Holding it to her chest, she lay down and smiled the pleasant thoughts only an expectant mother could dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A special note from the Author: **  
For anyone curious, I do not have any experience with what Abby is going through. I can only imagine how a character like Abby can react to such _joy_ous news and hope that I am doing the emotions justice. 

On that note, I want to take a moment to warn you that this story is going to take a dramatic turn in the next few chapters. I do promise you a happy ending -- I personally can't stand sad endings -- but the story arc must be played out no matter how guilty I'm going to feel for putting the characters through the pending ordeal.

I have increased this story's rating to PG-13 for senstive themes. 

I thank you for your kind reviews and encouraging words and can only hope that I continue to fulfill your expectations as the rest of the story unfolds.

Thank you.  
~Joycelyn 


	6. Chapter Six

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter Six**

"There you are, Abby."

Abby stood in greeting. "Millicent." Despite both John and his grandmother's insistence, Abby couldn't bring herself to address the elder Mrs. Carter as "Gamma," though she had finally relaxed enough to call her by her first name. "I'm glad you could make it on such short notice."

Millicent Carter beamed at her grandson's wife as she sat down. "I always have time for my favorite granddaughter."

The mischievous smile she wore was contagious and Abby couldn't help but whisper across the table in mock-confidence. "I'm the only granddaughter you have...even if I'm only an in-law."

"Oh, Abby, you're more of a Carter than most of the members of this family." She lifted her eyebrows expressively, knowing that Abby would guess who she meant.

Unable to help herself, Abby asked "And how _are_ John's parents?"

"Well, they're speaking too each other at last ­­ even if it _is_ only through their respective lawyers." She sighed, glancing at the menu that had been placed before her. "How I could have raised one John so wrong and one John so right is amazing to me." she said to herself.

Abby smiled widely, unable to keep her enthusiasm from showing. "Actually, Millicent, that's why I asked you to lunch." Her smile became impossibly wider. "There's a very good chance you may have another John to try your luck with."

Millicent's jaw dropped in surprise, and then her lips widened into a smile to match her own. "Abby? Are you telling me what I _think_ you're telling me?"

Abby nodded.

"Oh, Abby, that is wonderful news! Why didn't that grandson of mine say anything?"

"Actually," Abby began, twisting the wedding band on her finger, "John doesn't know yet. He's at a Conference and I couldn't get a hold of him. You're the first person I've told ­­ but I had to tell someone."

"I can understand that, dear, and I'm glad you thought of me to share your news with."

"Next to John, you're the best family I have, Millicent."

Briefly, Millicent allowed her sympathy for Abby's family background to cloud the joy she felt over the pending birth of her first great-grandchild. "And I couldn't have asked for a better wife for my grandson, Abby." 

Surprising Millicent and restaurant patrons for a three table radius, Abby burst into tears.

* * *

After lunch, and several teary breakdowns from Abby, the two Mrs. Carters were giddy with excitement over the pregnancy ­­ and the excuse to shop for said pregnancy.

Abby's giddiness, unfortunately, was a poor comparison to Millicent's. 

Whether it was the garlic toast or the lemonade, Abby wasn't sure, but something at lunch had not agreed with her. The morning sickness she was used to, but it usually stayed in the morning. 

But, not wanting to dampen her surrogate mother's enthusiasm, she put on a brave face and agreed to each of Millicent's suggestions. 

It was her complacence that tipped-off Millicent and she asked, "Abby, are you feeling alright?" 

She offered a wan smile. "I don't think lunch agreed with me." 

"Perhaps we should take you home to rest. Alger­­"

"No." Abby protested. "I'll be fine, really. I'm sure the baby is just upset about the pasta taking up so much of his room."

Millicent looked skeptical. Abby was pale and having trouble keeping her eyes open while she sat in the comfort of the Carter limo. However, she didn't want to spoil her granddaughter's first baby-shopping trip.

She sighed in resignation. "One store. Then we're taking you home. By that time John will be home and you can tell him your happy news ­­ and let him wait on you hand and foot."

Abby's smile became genuine at that thought and she relaxed against the leather seat. "Okay. One store."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A special note from the Author: **  
First, let me apologize for the long pause between postings. This and the next two chapters have been very difficult to write. As I said before, they are **not** going to be happy. I can only hope that in the process of writing I do the characters and the storyline justice.

I will post Chapter Seven tomorrow, Saturday, night with Chapter Eight to follow the night after. I don't want you, the reader, to be in any more pain than I will be as you wait to for this dramatic turn to be over. 

Again, I warn you, the next two chapters are **not** happy chapters. This story _will_ have a happy ending, but for there to be a silver lining there must be a cloud.

Thank you for your kind reviews and patience. I gladly accept any further encouragement you are willing to offer in the form of reviews or e-mails. 

Thank you.  
~Joycelyn 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**A special note from the Author:   
**This chapter is incredibly short. It is also sad and is more of a prelude to the next chapter that will be even sadder. I am very sorry that I am doing this to Abby and John. I feel extremely guilty, but hopefully by the end of this story you will understand and forgive me for putting them ­­ and you ­­ through this anguish.

The next chapter will be posted tomorrow afternoon. It will be rock-bottom and from there the only place it can go is up, right (of course, not immediately, but eventually)?

Thank you for your loyal readership of this story and your reviews.   
~Joycelyn

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter** **Seven**

Insisting that she was feeling better, the one store Abby agreed to had become four. 

As Alger pulled to stop to let the two Carter women out in front of FAO Schwartz, Abby smiled widely.

"Just circle around, Alger," Millicent instructed. "We should only be a moment."

As they got out of the car, a Abby winced with pain as the muscles in her back stretched from sitting too long. 

"Ready?" she asked as Millicent joined her on the sidewalk. She took a step forward, and collapsed.

"Abby!" Millicent yelled, going down on her knees next to her granddaughter. "Abby?"

She cradled the young woman's head in her lap. She was about to repeat her name again when Abby's eyes suddenly opened and her face tensed with pain.

"Oh no..." she cried, crossing her arms over her abdomen protectively, even as Millicent noticed blood spots on her skirt. 

"Oh, God...Alger!" Millicent cried, thankful to see that Alger was already running toward them ­­ cellphone in hand as he dialed for help.

* * *

  
It's good to be home, John thought as he claimed his bags at the airport. 

The last day of his conference had been uneventful. His flight had been uneventful. He couldn't help but feel the entire week had been a loss ­­ he hadn't learned anything new and he missed his wife.

However, as much as he missed his wife, he was going to have to make a detour before going home. He'd promised to drop off all his handouts from the conference for Kerry and, knowing Kerry, the sooner he got them to her the better. 

In less than an hour he would be home in the inviting arms of his beautiful Abby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I've mentioned, I've never been pregnant nor have I ever attended medical school so I can only write what Abby's going through based on movies, television, and various novels I've read. If there's a doctor in the audience who wants to offer pointers, I'd appreciate them. Otherwise, please bear with me. I'm making things as technically-vague as I can so as not to cause any trouble with the AMA. 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**A special note from the Author: **  
No, I didn't forget to write a chapter, but I am skipping the whole "ambulance arrives, they rush Abby to the trauma room, and starting throwing out a bunch of technical terms" scene because A) I don't know enough technobabble for it to sound good and B) I think John's POV will be sufficient to cover the drama of this section.

However, if you feel that I may have missed something in the transition from Abby's collapse to the events of this chapter, please let me know and I'll see if I can scrounge up enough material to create a filler chapter. 

As always, thank you.   
~Joycelyn

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**Author's note: **This story is a slightly alternative universe of ER. If I explained more, it would give things away, so just read it and please enjoy.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter** **Chapter Eight**

"Gamma?"

Millicent Carter turned and relief flooded her face when she saw her grandson. "Oh, John, thank God they found you." 

Not registering the puzzled look on his face, she quickly embraced the young man she practically raised more as a son than a grandson. "I don't know what happened. She said she was fine. She was so happy to share her news and then ­­ I don't know if it was the excitement that did it..."

"Gamma." John said again, holding his grandmother away from him to gain her attention. "What's going on?"

"I'm trying to tell you, John. She was fine at lunch, but on the way to the toy store she collapsed."

"Who collapsed, Gamma?" John asked, assuming his "doctor mode" to calm his grandmother. "What happened?"

Millicent stopped and studied his face. With a cold feeling of realization she said, "You don't know."

"Know what?" John asked, the cool exterior of his medical persona giving way to fear. "Abby?"

Millicent nodded. "She collapsed after lunch. At first, I thought it was fatigue, considering her condition, but then the bleeding started." Her shoulders drooped with a mixture of concern and fatigue. "I haven't heard anything. I thought they had called you."

Heading toward the admit desk, John tried to comfort his grandmother while fear settled deeply into his stomach. "I came right from the airport. I didn't even turn on my beeper yet." He grabbed the pager out of his bag and switched the power on. As soon as he did it indicated that he had several calls from the ER.

Approaching the desk, he saw Randi dial the phone and then stop when she noticed him. "Dr. Carter, I was just going to call you again." She nodded in understanding at Carter's grandmother, holding a comforting hand on his elbow. "She's in Trauma One."

Not wasting time to thank her, he pushed through the double doors. 

"Abby!"

"John," Susan began, intercepting him as he moved to the gurney. "She's resting now. We've stopped the bleeding for now but we're sending her ­­."

"Abby?" he called toward the bed and, when she didn't respond, he pushed past Susan and took position next to Luka. "Abby?"

Her face incredibly pale, she turned to him. Red and swollen eyes greeted him; dried tears streaked her face. "I'm sorry, John." she whispered through dry and cracked lips and turned her head away. 

"It's okay, sweetheart, you're going to be fine." He looked at Susan and Luka for confirmation as he stroked her hair. "It's going to be okay." 

"It's not okay." she turned again to face him and locked eyes with her husband. "I lost it. I lost our baby."

The look of shock on his face brought Susan forward. "John, maybe we should go outside while they get Abby ready to move."

"I love you, Abby." he said, kissing her forehead and looking deeply into her eyes. "Everything _will_ be okay."

She plainly that she doesn't believe him, but he smiled reassuringly at her as he followed Susan outside.

"Take a couple deep breaths." Susan instructed, leading John away from the windows where he couldn't see into the trauma room. "Have you talked to Abby since yesterday?"

He shook his head. "She left me a voice mail last night, but I didn't get it 'til this morning."

"John. Look at me."

He did.

Susan took a deep breath of her own. "Abby was pregnant. It was an obvious surprise to her yesterday when I examined her."

"How­­" he began but stopped when Luka approached. "How far along was she?" he repeated, his voice barely a whisper as everything started to make sense. 

The morning sickness. 

The chronic fatigue.

The mood swings.

Luka asked the obvious, pointing an accusatory finger at John. "How could you not know you're wife was pregnant. You're a doctor." 

"We didn't think she could..." He looked at Susan, then Luka. "When she was with Richard, she was pregnant but she...there were complications." He hung his head. "A month ago we were talking about adoption."

Susan nodded in understanding, but Luka frowned at John. He couldn't fathom how a doctor of Carter's "standing" could have missed a pregnancy in his own marriage.

"She was three months along, John." Susan said, resting a hand comfortingly on his arm. "She was examined upstairs and they gave her a clean bill. I don't know if she discussed her...history with them or not. There may have been nothing that could have been done."

John hung his head in defeat. "I should have been here. I should have been with my wife."

Luka opened his mouth to say something to that, but quickly closed it again at the look Susan shot him.

Susan looked looked into the trauma room, seeing they were ready to move Abby upstairs. She gently lead John back into the room. "You're here now. And she's going to need you."

Straightening, John offered Susan a weak smile as he pushed the door open. Abby needed him. His own guilt would have to wait. 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Something to Celebrate  
an _ER_-based fan fiction  
by: Joycelyn Solo**

~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**Author's note: **This isn't a new chapter -- just a bit more closure in the last couple paragraphs than originally published. For more information, please see the Author's note at the end of the story.  
**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything, but if anyone wants to discuss leasing options, I'm interested...

**Chapter** **Nine**

"Abby?"

Swimming to the surface of consciousness, Abby felt warmth flood her at the sound of her husband's familiar and beloved voice.

For a moment she basked in the glow of his love, thankful that he was finally back from that stupid conference. Now they could get on with their lives.

The three of them.

_Oh. No_.

There were only two of them.

With painful clarity, she remembered waking up in the back of ambulance, recognizing the medics as they worked to stabilize her. Even through the haze of physical pain, nothing had hurt as much as the realization that the baby ­­ a being she'd known less than two days ­­ was being taken away from her.

Tears seeped from beneath her closed eyelids and she heard John call her name again.

She turned her head away. She couldn't face him. She didn't even get a chance to tell him about the baby.

Did he know?

Yes. She remembered. He'd been in the trauma room before she came upstairs. She'd told him. And doubtless Susan had filled in the blanks when they'd gone outside to talk.

He must know.

And he must hate her.

"Abby?" This time, his voice sounded hurt; his pain masked by his concern for her.

That was her John. Concerned about others before himself. He'd been called arrogant and selfish in the past by many ­­ herself included ­­ but deep down the wellbeing of others was more important to him than anything else.

She refused to open her eyes to see his look of...

What would it be?

Sympathy for what she was going through? Sadness for his own loss. Support and love to help them both get through this?

Whatever it was, she wasn't sure if she could deal with it.

She felt his hand caress the side of her face as he brushed her hair aside. Without thought, she turned her face toward his hand, seeking comfort from him even as she tried to distance herself and her pain.

Abby Carter had never been very good at relying on others when she was in pain. For the simple reason that she'd never _had_ anyone to lean on when she needed help.

Now she had someone.

She had John.

And her first impulse was to push him away, protect him from her pain.

But he had pain, too. She could feel it. Even the way his hand touched her cheek, she could tell that he hurt.

And he was scared.

For her.

She couldn't leave him with his pain, just as he wouldn't leave her.

John needed her.

She needed him.

Even in her dispair, Abby could feel the reassurance of the love she shared with her husband.

Despite everything, there was something to celebrate.

Bracing herself for she would face -- and knowing John would be there to face it with her, Abby slowly opened her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A special note from the Author:   
**I'm sorry it took so long to come back to this story. I can't say that I really finished it because, well, it's the same thing you saw before.

However, no matter how I tried to write the next chapter -- nothing seemed to work. I wanted to somehow convey that, even in their misery, John and Abby's love for each other could get them through it and THAT was something to celebrate. Instead, I took the slacker's way out and reworded the last couple paragraphs to bring as much closure as I could to this story for now. If a muse strikes me later on a better way to end this tale, I may come back, but don't count on it.

I appreciate all your support and readership. I hope you weren't too disappointed by anything that did -- or didn't -- happen. If you're up for some hard-core Carby goodness, please check out "Something to Cherish"; a prequel of sorts to my Carbyverse.

Thank you.  
~Joycelyn 


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